Vale Trevor Day, 1984 – 2024.
Last month the electrical industry lost a much loved son. I’d like to celebrate a life cut short and underline the importance of mental health.
Recently I saw a wave of posts through my social feed, remarkable both in number and source but universal in sadness. Pages devoted to automotive work lamented the loss of a “roof possum” while solar specialists similarly shared thoughts about a bloke whose talents were spread pretty wide.
Like many, I never knew “Tradie Trev” personally, but I knew about his outsized personality and willingness to share wisdom and help people out.
I’ve included links to his YouTube channel in my articles; because he made switchboard overhauls interesting and accessible for the average punter while simultaneously offering great advice to those doing the same work every day.
Punching Darts and Breaking Hearts
When the news broke on the page Trev helped create, there were a few expressions of disbelief naturally. Everyone wonders what happened, of course, and knowing about the dangers of smoking, I wondered about the chances of a sudden heart attack perhaps.
The words “passed away suddenly” are shorthand, though. The words “accidentally” or “tragically”, as much as those terms could apply, were not used.
On a page known for remorseless sh!t stirring and levity, there were 4000 responses, all deeply respectful
Making Good From A Rubbish Situation
Despite the forthright nature of building industry banter, it’s been refreshing to see how these blokey blokes are reaching out to each other.
Men are known to internalise trauma and present a stiff upper lip to get through challenging situations. Sadly this results in men ending their own lives at a rate of 3:1 compared to far better socially conditioned and connected women.
This is the ethic that brought about TradeMutt clothing, loud shirts designed to be conversation starters, and a fundraiser for trade-focused mental health.
The GoFundMe response to Trev’s passing has been great considering the size of the community.
Marvel Pliers Prove Marvelous
Trev was known for advocating Marvel pliers, which shear copper and offer a clean cut rather than the rubbish that cleaves through like a bolt cutter.
Of course, you need something different for cutting steel, but that’s not what we’re here for.
What Is This Obsession With Pliers?
It’s a little like football teams but possibly a more deeply held core belief.
Jokes go that an apprentice should only operate a broom in their first year. Graduating to the “cutting copper” stage means you need a tool for the job; so choosing pliers to cut and twist your terminations is seen as a rite of passage.
It didn’t take much encouragement for the poeple who sell these superior tools to realise they too were indebted, so they’ve made good with a donation to Lifeline for every pair sold until xmess.
Kaiju are already sold out and have agreed to honour the donation pledge on stock delivered next year.
There will be a funeral service for Trev on the 13th of December.
Be Kind To Your Fellow Humans
I’ve recently been dealing with a solar customer who’s convinced her system doesn’t work properly, and she won’t be placated.
She can’t even decide what a good outcome looks like from her perspective, but that doesn’t stop the pithy emails and text messages.
The ludicrous part is that her system is brilliant. It performs above the yield promised when she signed the quote.
The inverter maker has reviewed it; I’ve reviewed it, and the installer has been over it with a fine tooth comb.
Repeated visits, and hours on a case study to show the effect of tree shade from the road have been fruitless.
It’s reached the point where, despite holding the customer’s best interest at heart, the installer is going to block her number. Trying to get a good review is not worth the cost to his mental health.
As an independent party, I can see with some clarity what’s going on, and it’s simply unnecessary angst.
Please Look Out For Each Other
I’m not a psychologist so I can only offer my meandering experience. The thing I’ve learnt is to keep an eye out for your mates. It might not be intuitive but the gregarious ones may need more help than most.
And be especially observant for those who are looking up after a tough time in the depths of depression. It’s not unusual for someone’s mood to improve once they’ve decided on a plan of action.
One of my acquaintances had decided the world was better off without him. In retrospect, we realised he had been in a better mood because with a decision made, he was going around making peace with his nearest and dearest; before he took the steps to ending his own life.
Sadly his granddaughter never got to know him.
Being A Little Gentler Costs Nothing
The modern world is a stressful place, and it’s not helped by an economic, political and social media environment that actively promotes narcissists and psychos. Not many realise 1 in 100 people are psychopaths, yet 4 in 100 CEOs are.
So it’s worth remembering the maxim we use at SolarQuotes.
“Would you be happy with that for your Grandmother?”
If you need help then reach out 24/7 to lifeline on 13 11 14
Ring up Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636
or Chat online to a counsellor
Or you can ring or text message TIACS, a free counselling service offering mental health support to Australia’s blue collar community.
Call or text 0488 846 988 Mon-Fri 8am-10pm AEST
About Anthony Bennett
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I just read this, or as much as I could. I finished reading a story about the solar panel company Sun Energy going bust, but the company is still working, even though it owes over $3 million! I’m not too worried about the ATO debt, but small contractors and suppliers who take the hit, when this happens, it would be tough to get over!
Whenever I read about businesses going under, I think of the little people.
We need more protection, not just for workers, but contractors and suppliers.
Tragic that anyone gets to a stage where they feel the only way out is the final solution, to a (usually) temporary problem.
While Lifeline is a good thing to have for some as a last resort, most people have family, friends, work colleagues, and so on, and those people saying “how’re things going?” every now and then is probably the best way to combat depression.
Rest in peace Trev.
But will you actually get a meaningful response to “how’re things going” or ‘R U Okay’?
The pro forma response to any such question is fine, good, or something equally polite and meaningless. It’s a question that confuses non-native English speakers as it is literally a question, but not one said by native speakers with any real interest – usually.
Compounding that, when you’re locked in to a really dark place – a major depressive episode, it’s hard for anything to reach you, and you find amusement in very dark thoughts e.g. what would it be like to grab a cop’s gun, or considering the mechanics of suicide. Unless you’re a film scriptwriter, or some other weird profession, those are not normal thoughts for people to consider!!!
Yes the problem(s) that led to a depressive episode are likely temporary, or if permanent then something you can get over, but we tend to live in the now, with the past impacting, and the future far distant. Sometimes medicine can help with issues, other times it can actually compound the situation and make things much worse! Counselling\talk therapy is also something that can help, especially if it’s the depressed individual seeking help rather than worried family, friends etc. Given the median length of a bout of major depression is half a year, but that barely half of those with mild to moderate depression will recover within 12 months, it’s not a simple issue.
Unlike physical issues e.g. a limb bent somewhere it should never bend, mental health issues are not visible and very hard to quantify. Add men’s disinclination to talk about weakness, to adhere to stiff upper lip logic, and they’re more likely to keep going where women would break down, but completely crack where women would have gotten help. Not sure if that’s biological, cultural or both though.
TL;DR – Depression isolates an individual in a dark place, questions like “how’re things going” or “R U Okay” are unlikely to get a genuine response, just a polite one.
Your a good man AB. Wise, helpful words
We, a couple of mates and I, worked with this, who just happens to be a Sparkie, Bloke.
Friday arvo, talkin shit over a few beers, having a laugh, no niggles, just talking crap as we do.
Come to work on Monday, finds out he’d jumped…😳😳😳…
Not a peep came from him, not a murmur…
Apparently he’d checked himself into the psych unit next day.
they’d “observed’ the poor bloke overnight (Saturday night) checked him out Sunday morning…Then Gawn…
He appeared COMPLETELY NORMAL.
If you have a wringing wristed bloke in your zone, we can all pretty much say, while the duty of care criteria can’t be enforced, we can find it inside of us to reach out and help a person in distress.
But the asteroids that come form deep dark outer space are the world shattering and life ending for those poor remaining loved ones…
No one sees those coming…
So yes I’m speaking with LifeLine. Two very helpful songs happened today:- Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me, and Oh Lord hear my prayer.
Good evening folks at Solar Quotes,
I do not normally respond to online content, but this article has prompted me to contribute. My heart felt thoughts for the loss.
Finn and the Solar Quotes team are such an assett to the community for making platforms like this available. Without this blog, others in similar circumstances would not have a hope of being recognised let alone helped.
Do try to reach out, especially at this time of the year. There are many folks struggling and a small gesture can make a big difference.